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About Digital Art / Hobbyist RagdollZombie18/Female/United States Recent Activity
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  • Mood: Depressed
As I've said in previous journals, I've been through a LOT of shit lately... And it's pretty much crushed my spirit and, to be honest my will to even do the things i used to love doing. Sometimes i feel like I want to just sleep forever, but I don't want to do that to friends and family... But to be honest it feels like torture right now with how I'm feeling.

I'm seeing a therapist and taking two types of antidepressants, but sometimes its still not enough. I've been isolating myself from friends a lot lately too, and having extreme anxiety of other family members suddenly dying. I also get feelings that I'm pathetic and people don't care about me. Its definitely the depression taking its toll. It's like a disease. I feel like I've been through a traumatic experience. Not a physical experience like a major car crash or being attacked or anything, but psychological trauma. It may not seem like much, but there's only so much stress one person can take at once before they just break down and give up on everything. I feel like i'm going back and forth. Sometimes i feel like it is greatly effecting my health too, because the times when i feel the most sad, i actually get physically sick for a few days.

My dad had passed away just before January, which is pretty recent, but what hurts the most is almost an entire year of him being in the hospital after a major heart attack in march of 2014. I had witnessed... But on top of that I had also been depressed about other family deaths the year before. I feel like things have just been constantly tearing me down over the past few years, until I've finally fallen to the very bottom of the ditch...


All in all, it will take a LOOONG time for me to get better, maybe even years. I might not even be the same again, but I'm still willing to get myself back up my feet. I'm damaged badly but still fighting.



Sorry for the depressing journal, but i'm being true to how I've been feeling, and i think i should let you guys know what's been going on.

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RagdollZombie
RagdollZombie
Artist | Hobbyist | Digital Art
United States

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:iconafricansunrise101:
AfricanSunrise101 Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015
Dear God, the sweet girl reading this is kind and I'm proud of her. Please help her live life to the fullest and bless her in her chosen field. Now, you're on the clock. In 9 minutes something will make you happy. Please share this with 15 girls you love. Remember,only for *girls*. If I don't get this back I'm obviously not a close friend. Now, I have a game for you, it's been played since 1977. Once you read this, you have to send it to 15 people. Your next 5 days will be like this: Day 1 - you will wake up to the biggest shock of your life. Day 2 - you will cross paths with an old friend you have missed. Day 3 - you will find yourself with a lot of money. Day 4 - your day will be perfect. Day 5 - the love of your life will kiss you. ....if you don't forward this, your next 5 days will be the exact opposite. Don't break this. Send it to 14 friends in 10 minutes. It's not that hard. Whoever sent this to you must care about you Heart 
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:iconafricansunrise101:
AfricanSunrise101 Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2014
Happy Birthday BabeHeart Huggle! Hug Have your cake and eat it too Party 
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:iconragdollzombie:
RagdollZombie Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks :3 <3
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:iconantebelle:
Antebelle Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hi there! :meow: thanks for the fave! :D
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:iconhalloween-ink:
Halloween-Ink Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the Fav~!Pikachu happy
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:iconragdollzombie:
RagdollZombie Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yw
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:iconhalloween-ink:
Halloween-Ink Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Kirino Kousaka (Smile) [V1] 
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:iconbeadtheweed:
beadtheweed Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the fav =D
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:iconragdollzombie:
RagdollZombie Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yw! :3
Reply
:iconcarmenharada:
carmenharada Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for adding my wroks to yoru FAVS!! :D
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:iconragdollzombie:
RagdollZombie Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
you're welcome! Your 3D arts are REALLY amazing! :)
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:iconcarmenharada:
carmenharada Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks a lot again!! :D
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:iconragdollzombie:
RagdollZombie Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Sure thing! ^^ You inspire me to improve on my own art
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(1 Reply)
:iconx-memoire-x:
x-Memoire-x Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the favs!!! :hooray: I feel honored.
Have a nice day!
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:iconragdollzombie:
RagdollZombie Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yw! :)

you have a nice day too!
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:iconmoonresident:
MoonResident Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013
Thank you for choosing Bad Fan as a Favorite!  I am glad you like the picture!
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:iconragdollzombie:
RagdollZombie Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconthe-dude-l-bug:
The-Dude-L-Bug Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for :+fav:ing the image of my father and Max the Bouv the-dude-l-bug.deviantart.com/…
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:iconragdollzombie:
RagdollZombie Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yw ^^
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:iconangelprincess105:
AngelPrincess105 Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2013
O.O Hi
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:iconragdollzombie:
RagdollZombie Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
uh hi... do i know you?
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:iconantebelle:
Antebelle Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
OH MY GOSH IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I FREAKING FORGOT FIVE DAYS AGO?! :iconcryforeverplz: I'm so sorry!

BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND LOOK I EVEN POSTED UP YOUR REQUEST! Well, a work in progress but Happy belated birthday!


Sorry it's kinda fuzzy, but is that okay for you? I plan on coloring it too~
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:iconragdollzombie:
RagdollZombie Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I WUB IT X3
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:iconantebelle:
Antebelle Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Aww yay! :3 I'm so glad OuO
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